What we got

Turns out my 11 year old, Michael, missed the memo on getting me iDevices and high fives and landed squarely in the middle. In a moment of "this doesn't sound like a gift, but it's actually an awesome gift," he offered to let me teach him to mow the lawn for Father's Day. Recognizing that this was super-thoughtful and not the norm, I immediately assumed the worst.

Of course by assumed the worst, I don't mean that questioned the motives of my little man. I questioned his butt. As in, I thought "just how stinking far is his 8 pound, 6 ounce caboose gonna be able to push a lawn-mower in 95 degree heat with his spindly arms and his get-that-kid-a-sandwich frame?" as I pictured myself mowing the other 98% of my lawn after his stamina gave out. As they almost always are, my instincts were total crap.

The whole thing was a much sweatier affair than this picture makes it appear.

I spent about ten minutes talking him through the setup (I did pour the gas in myself) and safety ("your siblings appendages won't grow back") and we started mowing. I did the first couple stripes to get him a decent corner to turn in and let the mower stop. Much to my surprise, he was able to start it himself before he started moving. Then he mowed. And mowed. And mowed. And then he mowed the front yard, too. Did he miss a patch here and then? Sure. Did he finish the job with his scrawny little build? Definitely.

So I guess, in the end, the gift wasn't so much the lesson. Or the lawn. Or all of the future lawns (which is AWESOME!). I think the real gift was watching my oldest just impress the living bejeezus out of me by doing way more than I expected he would be able to as a gift to me.

Happy Father's Day.

Glory Days: A Post-Mortem Report

Going into this past weekend, there was so much anticipation for our fraternity's 90th reunion. Not so much around hearing guest speakers talk about the last 90 years and how they have flown by, but for getting to hang out with dudes I hadn't seen in a long time, some over a decade. Well and I'd be lying if I didn't say I needed a mancation.

The weekend began with the scenic drive through the vast openness towards more vast openness. We drove through such bubbling metropolises like Eolia, Palmyra, & Edina. Towns so small they sound like an infectious disease. Luckily and like most of the people who drove up there, I had a road buddy. A guy whom which our friendship is based on movie quotes from both Grumpy Old Men, Blazing Saddles, Caddyshack, & The Blues Brothers. We could probably have a coherent conversation using just movie quotes and fix the budget. Had it not been for him I would have gotten bored out of my skull on the drive up and probably fallen asleep on the ride home Sunday.

We arrived in town around lunch time but decided to have a couple of beers at the fraternity house before we got a bite. As we cracked open those delicious beers we strolled through the house. Apparently,  it was time for the "Open House" portion of the weekend's events and we were surrounded with 70-somethings and their wives. The guys looked good enough for church and we had just rolled out of a car that no doubt smelled like 3.5 hours of dude. We opted for lunch immediately.

It was a good call on the lunch. We had both been craving some local fair that is near and dear to our hearts: Pagliai's Pizza. We got our staples from College. A George on Sourdough w/ Ranch & an Original Ronza.... and some more beer (please notice the trend starting here).

[caption id="attachment_743" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I don't know what could sum up college lunch better than this..."][/caption]

After lunch we headed over to a local bar that was more like the central meeting place for the day than the fraternity house. Guys started rolling in around 1pm and we started up like old times... and more beer. We stayed there until we were tipsy and needed showering which would be about 3-4 more hours. This is where time starts to run together, credibility begins to fail, and my voice starts talking loud.

So to save you a story that spans the next 9 hours, I will just sum it up in bullet form:

• Shower


• Fraternity House Basement that was supposed to be locked


• Drums


• Dinner: Pagliais, this time we had the pizza


• Fraternity Deck


• Bars


• Fraternity house


• 1.6 mile walk to the hotel because the cab companies were all closed.
  
  [caption id="attachment_744" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Your Suburban Father Alliance hard at work"][/caption]

So that's our weekend. Great story huh? Well I think with any trip of this magnitude and with such anticipation a Lessons Learned needs to be performed well at least some strong observations.

- Where some people have lost their hair, others have gained it. Much like the Conservation of Matter, I now believe hair cannot be created or destroyed, it just moves from one body to another.

- I cannot blog the day after I drink for 14 hours. Keeping a conversation with a real person was hard enough. There is no way I could accurately think and then transfer those thoughts on to paper (virtual paper). I believe you can also replace "blog" with any other verb in this situation and I don't think I am the only one who had some troubles doing their particular verb on Sunday. Even today I am not 100%.

- Even 10 years later there is some poor drunk couple still making out on a dance floor.

- College bars in general don't don't really change. they even still play movies from 1985

[caption id="attachment_746" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Yes the bar had on Goonies. I have no problems with this."][/caption]

- It's amazing how a group of guys can not see each other for over 10 years and still pick up like they just saw each other yesterday. I guess it's that whole "sharing a common experience" thing that brings guys together. Whatever it is I am glad I can mooch of them whenever I feel like it.

- I still wouldn't let my kids date their kids.