The Father's Day that wasn't

I would like a do-over... Some might think I am being selfish, but it was Father's Day. The day started off like any other awesome day. I was showered with presents from my children. I got a tie that anyone would be proud to wear in public, a Manchester United Jersey, some fantastic Chocolate covered walnuts, and these two books (which seem worthy of a review at a later date).

These are pretty high quality gifts. I mean one would think it was my birthday or something.

I was about to take my youngest on a walk that morning. This is kind of becoming a morning ritual where we walk for about a quarter mile and then I carry him back a quarter mile. It's fun and I enjoy it thoroughly. Well before set out for our jaunt, we all decided to try the chocolate walnuts...

The boy didn't like them. He spit most of it out after a bite or two and wasn't having it. Then he started coughing, and having trouble breathing, and vomiting, and pretty much freaking out all together.

A side note that this happened last weekend after eating a bite LUNA bar. We went to Urgent Care and then were directed to the ER.

At 20 months old he's the size
of a small European country

Well, this weekend was no different. After a briefing from our neighbor, an RN, we headed off to the ER... again. They did a similar procedure this week and took some x-rays. After seeing a small area of concern, they then sent us to Cardinal Glennon (another Hospital with an other ER) to go see a Pediatric ENT. We got all registered again to make a long story short, everyone int he hospital listened to my little guy's breathing  and they all said he sounded great. Nevertheless we were concerned parents and weren't sure what was going on.

After some discussions with the doctor on staff, he decided that we should go all Innerspace on him and check out his lungs with a little camera. They knocked him out and then went on in to find nothing wrong with him. Phew... kind of.

We were really hoping we could find something to nail down as the source of these issues. However, after doing some investigative research on out own, we found out there were walnuts in that LUNA bar he ate last week. So, we are going with a nut free diet. I feel this will not hurt his chances at a scholarship in a sport.

So, what did you do with your Father's Day?

Blowing the Dust Off

It has been quite some time since we have blessed the blogosphere with some of our original, grammatically incorrect musings. We know. You've missed us.

So why are we writing this? Its easy. We want to get to 10,000 clicks on this little blog of ours by the end of 2012. We are pretty close but need some help for you. However, we won't just post an article saying we need help, we'll put some thought behind it and some substance. Here goes.

The Suburban Father Alliance was started 2 years ago by my partner in crime and me to share some fatherly musings with friends and family. We have pumped out about 145 articles over that span which is more than 1 a week. It was fun. We got free beef jerky. Life was good.

Then I think life kind of hit us. Between the two of us we have 2 wives &7 kids. I also started up a home business selling Running Shoes and Apparel and Jamie was busy coaching, travelling for work, and other life stuff. It became less of a priority (for me at least, I won't speak for Jamie). Either way I don't think either one of us was getting the satisfaction out of it that we once got. In other words, the beef jerky had dried up.

Here's where we need your help. READ. THE. BLOG. We have made a concerted effort between the two of us to pump some good stuff out before the end of the year. Around the New Year we'll re-evaluate and go from there.

So, in the meantime: Read early. Share Often. And get ready for the best blog about fathering you've ever seen.

What we got

Turns out my 11 year old, Michael, missed the memo on getting me iDevices and high fives and landed squarely in the middle. In a moment of "this doesn't sound like a gift, but it's actually an awesome gift," he offered to let me teach him to mow the lawn for Father's Day. Recognizing that this was super-thoughtful and not the norm, I immediately assumed the worst.

Of course by assumed the worst, I don't mean that questioned the motives of my little man. I questioned his butt. As in, I thought "just how stinking far is his 8 pound, 6 ounce caboose gonna be able to push a lawn-mower in 95 degree heat with his spindly arms and his get-that-kid-a-sandwich frame?" as I pictured myself mowing the other 98% of my lawn after his stamina gave out. As they almost always are, my instincts were total crap.

The whole thing was a much sweatier affair than this picture makes it appear.

I spent about ten minutes talking him through the setup (I did pour the gas in myself) and safety ("your siblings appendages won't grow back") and we started mowing. I did the first couple stripes to get him a decent corner to turn in and let the mower stop. Much to my surprise, he was able to start it himself before he started moving. Then he mowed. And mowed. And mowed. And then he mowed the front yard, too. Did he miss a patch here and then? Sure. Did he finish the job with his scrawny little build? Definitely.

So I guess, in the end, the gift wasn't so much the lesson. Or the lawn. Or all of the future lawns (which is AWESOME!). I think the real gift was watching my oldest just impress the living bejeezus out of me by doing way more than I expected he would be able to as a gift to me.

Happy Father's Day.

What we want

Father's Day is approaching and you are more than likely asking yourself "What do I want the family I love so dearly to give me for this semi-made up holiday?" I am going to spare you the obligatory description about how what really matters is Family and how spending time with our kids is a real treasure. We all know that and you can go watch Oprah and cry about it. Not here. Sorry. Lets be honest, since our families think we are awesome, we are going to get something regardless. So it may as well be something we really want.

So here goes. In no particular order:

PANTS
And there's no better place to get them from than Bonobos (with the link provided you can get $50 off your first purchase). They make pants that don't make your butt look dumb. Nay, in fact their pants will make that arse look full and promising. Seriously if they don't hire me on their Marketing team after that plug, I might go back to Dockers.

Ladies... Seriously they are making it easy for you.

FOOD
Thick. Cut. Bacon. They guy above just opened a package of Bacon. See how happy that makes us.


DRINK
No I'm not talking booze here. We can get that on our own... under our desk at work. If you want a dad that is alert an attentive to your needs, by the man some Coffee. Trader Joe's has a wide array of delicious caffeinated gold.

Make Dad's desk look like this.

TECHNOLOGY
While I am a huge Android fan, everyone has heard of an iPhone. And with Today's unveiling of iOS6 (see how on top of stuff we are here at the SFA?) you should look into to getting Dad an iPhone. They are great "tools" and will really make him seem way more important.

HIGH FIVE
All the stuff up there costs money. I know. Times are tough right now and families can't be spending all their hard earned dollars on frivolous things. So, if you can't give Dad a gift, give him a high-five, tell him he's awesome, and then ask to borrow $20 so you can go buy him some bacon.

Told you we wouldn't get sappy.

Being Decent Finally Pays Off

As you may recall, a few weeks ago I lost the use of a dear friend in a fit of compassion (What's that you say? You don't recall? Well look right here.). At the time I was disappointed that after a few thousand years of being removed from the meat production process I no longer had the necessary chops to provide for my brood, but was really mostly depressed because it meant I was going to have to go a summer without grilling or at least grilling easily.

 As part of my conceding some adorable baby birds deserved a shot at growing up to poop on things, my wife assured me a new grill would be in my future. With that, I started fantasy shopping about several new models, and I had some very basic criteria.

1. I wanted it to look pretty. I'm trying to get my patio together, and while my old grill was functional, it wasn't very attractive to anything but a family of birds.


2. I had to have a solution that would heat up quickly so I could grill during the weak with our schedule, I've only got about an hour and 15 minutes to cook, feed, and clean the kids before bedtime. This pretty much ruled out a charcoal grill.


3. I needed something bigger. On my current grill, I just didn't have enough room to cook enough food to feed my whole family at once.


4. It needed to be movable. I want to store it next to the house, but I need to be able to pull it away before lighting it. The new patch of siding on the back of the house gives testament to the lesson I learned last Father's Day.

This weekend, the piper finally got paid and I got a shiny new grill for Father's Day.


We like the shiny. We'd also like our patio to look like this (it does not currently).

I looked into some gas/charcoal combos but couldn't find any that were reviewed very well and ultimately decided that if I needed to do charcoal I could use my firepit but that this bad boy (with nearly twice the grilling surface of my old one) would work out fantastically. I also liked that this one included a vegetable steamer you could put in or take out (I recognize it's a gimmick, but if I recognize that I don't have to feel like a rube) and as we all know I like to get my health on (or at least like to feel I have the option to get my health on, knowing full-well that before too long I'll be trying to steam bacon in there).

This grill did admittedly have mixed reviews (which would normally put me off) but most of the reviews were about how hard it was to put together. Since I was going to buy it already assembled, I didn't care, and I felt OK with the rest of the write-ups I saw.

After having cooked one meal on it (which included fresh veggies, hot dogs, brats, and a couple of Daddy Day porterhouses) I'm pretty stinking happy so far. It got up to temperature in no time, it responded to my temperature changes, it had all sorts of room for me to use, and the food turned out great, which is no small feat for me. Also, since it was hugely discounted, I got to get an insanely expensive grill for a moderately ridiculous price, which is always nice (I like to know how rich people feel sometimes. Sue me. That'll just give me something else to check off of my faux-rich guy bucket list).

Final grades: The grill gets a Cuban with Smoked Provolone, those birds get a Cuban with Swiss, and the store experience gets a Reuben (the guy was a little weird, and they didn't have the cover I wanted).