We here at the Suburban Father Alliance take our craft seriously. This stuff doesn't just write itself. Anyway, we thought we'd take a minute and let you peek behind the curtain on one of our late night pre-production discussions.
John: I am trying to get something together for Friday. When are you leaving for your trip?
Jamie: Tomorrow. I'll definitely write about it when I get back. Sucker. Suckery sucker.
John: I don't go anywhere other than my pool. So I don't think people will want to hear my review on the [neighborhood name withheld] Pool
Jamie: What did those jerky guys think? I don't see our names on their website.
John: What about the jerks and the website?
Jamie: Did they like the review? Have they started showering us with merch yet?
John: No we got offered a tour.
Jamie: I'd look great in a jerky cycling shirt. How far away are they?
John: Labadie, Missouri. It's out where the hoot owls f' the chickens. It's around Washington/Eureka/Wildwood.
Jamie: Is it as far out as where they say stuff like "It's out where the hoot owls f' the chickens"?
John: Yes. I still think we need to go out there. Also I think we need to plan something big for Father's Day.
Jamie: I'll be in Wyoming all week. It's pretty far out. Want me to f' an antelope?
John: You'd do that if it wasn't Father's Day.
Jamie: Nope. Butt too high, run to fast.
John: Obviously you've never read Born to Run. You can chase those f'ers down
Jamie: I can barely run and run, let alone read and run.
John: You are probably wearing the wrong shoes for that.
Jamie: I don't care if it is after Easter, I'm not wearing white shoes. They don't slim my feet enough. I've already passed on the Fred Flintstone feet to my kids genetically. I'm not also passing on questionable fashion sense by example.
John: Yeah, you have never read Born to Run. All you need are some leather sandals.
Jamie: Go write Born to Run 2. I'll finish the first one in time to edit it.
John: There might be some copyright issues. FYI, I am also reaching out to my network of bloggers and asking the ones with children if they would like to break away from writing about running shoes and give us a try.
Jamie: Wasn't [buddy's name withheld] supposed to write something for us?
John: He probably wants a handwritten note inviting him. ALSO there is an issue with the t-shirts.
Jamie: Not enough room for your moobs?
John: I am working in it though. something about DPIs. The DPIs on my moobs are fine.
Jamie: What is a DPI? [waiting, waiting] Nevermind, you've already bored me.
John: Not sure. All I know is the image I had was 72 DPI and it needs to be 300 DPI. So our Digital Marketing team is working diligently on that.
Jamie: Oh, that DPI. Still don't care. Let me know when the stepladders come in. I may need you to send the sample to Wyoming next week.
John: Wait we are making stepladders now? This wasn't on my goals and objectives sheet. Do you need it for humping that antelope?
Jamie: BTW, I'm gonna blog some of this tomorrow. You can release your next.. um, release Friday. Or next week. Whichever. Oswald out.