Monday, June 6, 2011

Humanity vs. Dinner

We here at the Suburban Father Alliance take our grillin' seriously. It's not just about making food -- it's about being manly, providing for our families, taking on the elements. With grillin', like with every other manly pursuit, our tools are important to us. I've been using the same grill for 7 years. It's been through 2 apartments, 2 houses,  9 roommates and approximately 1,500 lbs of dry chicken. I know how long it takes to warm up, I know where the hotspots are, I know how much beer to pour on my veggies to keep them lubed up and not burned.

Unfortunately nature joined forces with the humanity of my wife and kids to prevent a successful 8th barbecue season for me and my grill. On Monday of Memorial Day, I had marinated the pork. I had cut up my veggies. I had my grill potatoes prepped and ready to go. And when I opened the lid to my grill I ran into the wrong hungry mouths.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="374" caption="Oh sure, they start out looking like this."][/caption]

I'm not the sort of man who would burn off a nestful of baby birds just so I could overcook some pork. I will totally admit to at least considering it, but since the family was outside, even if I had wanted to seriously consider it, it just wasn't in the cards. On the plus side, I had just scored a firepit the week before and had some wood in reserve, so I got to go all caveman on it and cook up a monster dinner on some open flames. Actually turned out pretty well. I was an Eagle Scout, dammit.


[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="But then they start eating all of our delicious horses."][/caption]

The scorecard at the end of the day? A family of birds have a home for the summer. My sister will probably get an old/new grill at the end of the summer. And a little birdie told me I may be getting a grill upgrade for Father's Day.


  1. I guess its pretty common, the same thing happened to me last year. The only difference the birds were gone and the nest was UNDER the bbq. So i did not noticed it at first, only when the fire started and big flames started to come out of it !

  2. To tell a family secret, it has happened to me as well, but I've always caught them pre-egg-laying (when I don't feel guilty evicting). Sadly, I did fry one grown up bird last year accidentally.

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