Blades of Glory

If there is one thing I wish I would have invested in 20 years ago (when I had no money to invest and lived with my parents) it would have been gold, Google or Apple. Because if I had, I would have so much money I would be able to buy disposable razor blades at will and use them carelessly.

All I want is an affordable close shave

But alas, I am poor and unfortunately I look better with a shorn face (unlike some of us). So, for the last 20 years or so I've been using your typical Gillette Mach Whatever system is out there. I've been buying my razors in Bulk at Sams or Costco. Yes I don't have to buy razors for a year or two but the cost is still pretty obnoxious. It seems that pricing on these blades (that are used 4-8 times) is around $4-5 per replacement. I love my face and all, but that's too expensive.

But who can blame Gillette. There's not much competition other than Schick. But Schick didn't send me a Mach 9 on my birthday so I have no loyalty.

This was all true until about 8 weeks ago. I saw a tweet somewhere offering a free razor to the first 450 people who signed up at some company called Dorco USA. Since I love free stuff (and since no one sponsors this website) I jumped on the opportunity. About 2 weeks later I had totally forgot about signing up, I got my very own Dorco Pace 6 in the mail. It had 6 Blades. S I X. I immediately thought someone had made a mistake:

1) I thought 5 was like the unwritten razor code for limit of blades on a razor head.
2) I was getting about $15 worth of shaving equipment (Handle plus 2 heads).

Well I looked online at this new Dorco company's razors and to my shock and utter disbelief, their razors, even the ones with 6 blades, were significantly cheaper than those of the big names. I wasn't screwing over anyone at those prices. Maybe I'm the one who was getting screwed the last 20 years... In fact, at the time of this post, you can get 24 blades for $30. That's some good 'ol cheap shavin' right there.

So how's the shave? As good as if not better than any other shave. The blades and heads last as long as other brands and I still nick my Adam's Apple weekly. However, I am bleeding happy blood knowing that my skin was cut by a company who doesn't gouge its customers. That last sentence was the best Pun I've ever written.

Ok, so just some house keeping on this article... The only thing I've received from Dorco was a free razor after I signed up online. There was no intent on writing a blog post. Also, I'm not being rewarded in any way for writing this. That's how we operate here at the SFA, for free.

When the kids are away...

So the fates have intervened and my wife and I are childless until at least Thursday of this week. Which means "staycation."

Rather than waste the week blogging, I'm just going to enumerate the top 10 things I'd like to accomplish while I am sans kids. Some of these I've already done, some are still "to-do."

1. Sleep totally nude. Even for naps.
2. Nap.
3. Work as late as I want to, practices (which are no longer relevant) be damned.
4. Be as loud as I want to be during... Family Feud.
5. Decant wine (which will be dinner) in things I wouldn't normally decant wine in.
6. Watch Family Feud twice in a day.
7. Grocery shop with my bride.
8. Eat out every night, even though our pantry is full.
9. Brush exactly one set of teeth before bed.
10. Jury duty. Not exactly by choice, on the agenda nonetheless.

What you wild and crazy people do if you didn't have any kids lying around?

Crisis averted, safety assured, idiot left in wake

A long setup wouldn't do justice to my Sunday afternoon, so I'll go ahead and concede that I'm an idiot. Around 1pm I went to pick up my dog from the groomer's and was greeted with a packed up car full of kids and pool gear, let the dog in my house, and hopped in my wife's car to head out for an afternoon of fun and sun.

What I didn't do was turn off my car. I returned three hours later to a car that had stalled itself out on what I can only assume was its own fumes as it filled my garage with exhaust.

What I didn't know was all of that. So when I pulled into my garage and smelled gas and then went into my home and heard the carbon monoxide detector going off, I went outside and called the gas company who called the fire department. I went back inside to let the dog out (he's fine, by the way) and open some windows. Then I went to grab something out of my car and realized what had happened.

On the bright side, even though it was my own stupidity that caused this issue, I still had done all of the right things, like having one of these and calling the gas company at the first sign of trouble (and quite frankly I don't know how long it would have taken to clear my house of enough carbon monoxide to be safe it we didn't have super fireman fans).

Also on the bright side? I warranted at least three extra vehicles on my street.

Sure it was taxpayer money, but it's gotta be my turn, right? 

On the super bright side? Hallie (the only kid home at the time) got a super cute hat and a pretty pimp ride.

Bonus? Hunky local firemen.

Obviously this post is mostly about me being stupid, but please do get a carbon monoxide detector. They are cheap, easy to install, and provide a lot of piece of mind.

Especially if you're a dumbass.