Thursday, May 19, 2011

Bacon vs. Beef Jerky

I am not sure where this is going, but my business partner mentioned something about Beef Jerky to me on Twitter. Specifically, "A Couple O' Jerk's" Beef Jerky. Which I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of their meat in the mail and will have a full report once it arrives.  Anyway it got me thinking about how much I really enjoy Beefy Jerky in general and how it goes overlooked in my snacking decisions. As I fell farther into my Beef Jerky haze, I went on further to ponder what food to me is most like Beef Jerky and no matter how I compared it, I kept winding up at Bacon. At this point I was so deep in thought and hungry that I start halucinating about a war between Beef Jerky and Bacon and who would win. The more and more I thought about this epic battle I kept thinking that Beef Jerky could actually win. Blasphemy.  Without being able to tell anyone about this battle in my head, I felt that a well thought out blog about the war of all food wars would be appropriate. So, I'd like to take the next few minutes of your life to gather my thoughts and get your opinion. So, in no particular order, here are the contestants in the Cured Meat Battle Royale.

[caption id="attachment_503" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Nobody puts Beef Jerky in the Corner"]Beefy Jerky[/caption]


  • Tastes Delicious

  • Portable

  • Affordable

  • the most accessible meat product in the world

  • Healthy in moderation

  • User Friendly no cooking required = no clean up

  • A variety of flavors (Teryaki, Spicy, Original, Slim Jim)


  • Not meal-worthy

  • Can't wrap other meats with it

  • Does not play well with TMJ

  • Along with Pork Rinds it might have the most Whiskey Tango association of all foods. I would use the term "Hoosier" here but that term doesn't translate from Missouri to Indiana well.

[caption id="attachment_502" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="I must Destroy Beefy Jerky"][/caption]


  • Delicious

  • Said to "make everything taste better"

  • Smells great (according to me)

  • Pairs well with other meats

  • Kevin

  • Baconian Method

  • Transcends the gap between Fast Food and Fine Dining

  • Can be used at any meal

  • cultural phenomenon


  • Waiting time to cook & eat

  • Makes our house stink (according to my wife)

  • Messy Clean up

  • Kevin

  • Not very portable

  • Turkey Bacon

  • Maple Cured

So there you have it. I am still at a loss at literally pondering over this for a couple hours. It's now time to voice your opinion and let it be known who wins.

[polldaddy poll=5062694]


  1. Bacon is not a lady. Bacon is a Nurse in an Emergency Department of a city hospital. She is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done - within or without the rules.

    Beef Jerky just doesn't care about rules. He doesn't care about your health, cholesterol or even whether you choke on him. He's not a delicacy. He just satisfies in the same way as a cheap, Lincoln Tunnel whore satisfies.

    Neither one care about rules but the nurse has a higher calling. She cares. She loves.

    Beef Jerky is just about doing it and getting it done.

    I vote for Beef Jerky.

  2. Well thought out Roger. Thanks for reading.

  3. Bacon is the lifeblood of every great long-distance runner.

  4. [...] day. I was so inspired by this Beef Jerky that it questioned me to write about a fight between Beef Jerky & Bacon. I feel weird rating this beef jerky on our sandwich scale but think instead that this beef jerky [...]