Crock Potting At Its Finest

If you're not cooking at least one or two meals a week, you're a sissy. Yeah, that's right, I said cooking is manly, in a round about way.

Regardless of what your grandpa did or what some ignorant show like 2 1/2 Men says (Full disclosure: I'm not sure what that show says because it sucks and I don't watch it. You shouldn't either for that matter.), your wife is probably just as busy as you are, if not more so. So, roll up your sleeves, get in the kitchen and make the family some dinner!

With that said, I'm going to do you a huge solid and float you one of the most delicious recipes in the world. Here's the best part, it's easy. My dog could make this recipe, if he wasn't a lazy Chihauhau who spends 22 hours a day sleeping.

Here's your shopping list:

1. 1 package of boneless skinless chicken breasts (figure about 1 1/2 per person)

2. 1 can (10 3/4 oz) cream of chicken soup

3. 1 cup of white wine (or substitute chicken broth)

4. 1 packet of chicken gravy (found in the seasoning packets section)

5. 1 block (8 oz) of cream cheese

6. 1 box of white rice

Now, follow these simple steps. Get a Crock-Pot; and set it to low. Place the chicken breasts along the bottom. Open the gravy packet and sprinkle it over the chicken. In a separate bowl, whisk the soup and white wine together. Pour over the chicken and let it cook for about 8 hours.

This is what it should look like before the Crock-Pot does its thing.

When you're ready to eat, start cooking the rice. We usually make extra (like 4 cups), because this thing is awesome left over. Spoon the chicken out of the Crock-Pot and place it in a separate bowl. Cut the block of cream cheese into fourths and whisk it in the liquid that's in the Crock-Pot. That will thicken it up and make a most delicious sauce/gravy. Trust me, it's awesome. Now, plate a bed of rice, toss on a piece of chicken and liberally spoon sauce all over that bad boy.

I like to add a little salt and pepper once it's plated. Your call.

If there is any doubt in your mind that this isn't the Crock-Pot chicken and rice recipe to end all Crock-Pot chicken and rice recipes, consider this story. I found this recipe in the cookbook that came with our slow cooker. (Yeah it's not a name brand Crock-Pot. We don't have that kind of money.) Needless to say, my wife was skeptical of any recipe that was from the pages of a book that came with a slow cooker.

Not one to be deterred, I forged ahead. I made it; and Tiffany was amazed. She frequently refers to it simply as "the deliciousness." Enough said.

Update: Going Mainstream

Apparently, not all Crock-Pots are created equally. Our Hamilton Beach bit the dust last week. It had the new-fangled time-delay functionality. It kept shutting off randomly throughout the day. Who wants to come home to $25 of half-cooked food? Boo!

We scraped together an extra 35 cents and ordered a Crock-Pot brand Crock-Pot on Amazon. It arrived yesterday. We opted for the old-school model without the digital display. It's black and stainless steel. We'll see how long this one lasts.

Black, stainless steel, and oh so manly.

At family functions, my grandma wheels out a Crock-Pot that I figured was from the 1950s. You know, the one with the paisley pattern on the side. Fun fact: Rival introduced the name brand Crock-Pot in 1971. In 1974, they wheeled out the stoneware inserts. Still, grandma's has to be 20+ years old. If this one lasts that long, I'll give it a proper burial in the backyard.

Since the Hamilton Beach only lasted 3 years, it suffered a much less glorious fate.

Note the pizza box under the slow cooker. That was plan B.