Last Night, Six and a Half Years Ago

Today I drove past the restaurant where I got engaged to my amazing wife, which has since closed. It made me a little sad, but better them than us, right? Anyway, that made me think of the email I sent out the next day, which I'll share here.

From: Jamie Oswald
Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2004 2:30 PM
Subject: Last Night
 
After much fanfare and bally-hoo, I got engaged last night.  No date is set, probably sometime around next May.
 
As a disclaimer, it may get cutesy below, so if you aren’t into that sort of thing, you should stop reading…now.
 
To start out, I should say that Becca is romantic, and I am not.  Our entire relationship is basically like that video for “Opposites Attract” with Paula Abdul and the animated cat.  Knowing this, we had been talking about getting married for a while, and I, knowing that I would have a great propensity for screwing up all things romantic, made her promise me that if I asked and it wasn’t perfect, then she should tell me, and I would ask again.  I figure it isn’t that big of a deal for me (I just want to be engaged to her) and I really want her to have the kind of memory of this event that she wants.  Plus, I figure, if I screw it up once or twice, it will be that much better a story for the grandkids.  I can’t really explain anymore what I did next; all I know is that it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time.
 
Let’s break momentarily and let me give all of you who may one day consider proposing on a golf course a couple of words of advice.

• Unless you’re dating Annika Sorenstam, don’t propose on a golf course.  Ever.


• If you are standing behind her at the tee with the ring, and she shanks it, you should abort the mission and go to secondary protocol.


• If you can’t spit anything out that sounds even remotely sweet, pretend like you have something in your eye and try again later.


• If you go ahead and propose anyway, and she says “Yeah” and then asks for another ball, go ahead and drown yourself in the nearest water hazard.


• Finally, don’t ever propose on a golf course.  It may be unique, but sweating and cussing for 2 hours beforehand isn’t nearly as romantic as it may at first seem.
   

To make a long story considerably shorter, we immediately talked about my indecent proposal and decided that wasn’t the right way, so, true to her word, Becca kept her promise (and I had made her promise), and I took the ring back.  I am still very, very happy about that decision.  Grandkids’ story: check.
 
Now, having to propose twice presents one especially interesting logistical obstacles.  It is impossible to surprise her.  She knows it is coming, she is antsy, she has seen the ring, and she wants it.  So, you have to balance out holding her off and coming up with a way to get to a romantic spot without her thinking it is for a proposal.  This is where my mother came in.  She gave birth to me on a very convenient date 27 years ago yesterday.  Thanks, Mom!  So, I had an excuse to have her out, and have reservations, and get a private room at said restaurant.  I also asked her three different times what we were doing on the 29th, which is the day after my birthday, which was nice, because she did not see anything coming on the 28th.  So, after working with her family, the restaurant, and my jeweler for 3 days on it, it was finally go time.
 
We went to dinner at Rich and Charlie’s, an Italian restaurant out by where she lives.  We walked in, I said I had reservations and it was my birthday, so they led us into the back room.  At this point, all I had to do was keep it together until the show started.  The waiter came in and got us some drinks, and I proceeded to “not be able to decide” what I wanted for what seemed like an eternity.  Finally, he brought in a vase with nothing but greens in it and set it on the table.  Becca thought it was weird, but assumed that they had just forgotten our center piece.  I had her right where I wanted her.  A minute or two later, he came back in with a ring box and a red rose.  He knelt down and gave her the box.  Right now, reading her face, I can tell she’s thinking, “He’s having the waiter propose to me, I should have just said yes on the golf course.”  Inside the ring box was no ring, however, just a note.  A minute later, another server came in with a box and a flower and another note.  Then another server, and another server, all with little notes like “I adore you,” “You amaze me,” or “I love your butt.”  After 6 servers came in, her brother’s girlfriend Valerie came in with a box and a flower.  Then Becca’s Mom’s husband Ed came in.  Then her brother Zak.  Then her brother Sam. And finally her mom.  Her mom came in with two roses and gave me the white one.  After Becca had opened this last box, I got down on one knee, gave her the last rose, which had a note on it asking the big question, and I let her open the ring box with the actual ring.  She said yes.  Or possibly “yep” (there is some confusion), but the second time around definitely took.  We all had dinner together and had a great time.
 
Anyway, I just want to say that I’m really glad that we didn’t just stop with the golf course.  This is a much better memory, and story, and I love her to death and just want for us to make each other happy for the rest of our lives.  I know I’ve been kind of rough on those of you were already married or engaged, but now that I have found that perfect someone for myself I completely understand.
 
And, if you think I’m a big girl now because I got all sappy, at least I warned you at the top.
 
Love you, Jamie

So there you have it. A bit of nostalgia, a bit of romance, and a bit of me being too lazy to create new content.